Bodies rushing. Glass smashing. That’s us.
Noises in the air. Shouts, now I’m scared. I no longer trust.
Drinking to fetch some thoughts of enlightenment, but still i cant forget how she hang up the phone on me.
Crossing the fingers hard enough to make bruises, just for things to get well.
Heart beat rising.
I’m not stable, so is she. In her eyes i see she is capable, of leaving me.
She has the guts. She cant listen. She doesn’t understand.
She doesn’t want to.
I wish i could fly away. Not being apart, but just for one day. I love her, but she doesn’t seem to understand.
Pushing through the walls, she is coming for me. I can see my phone being smashed. She now has my laptop.
I get angry. I try to stop her, but she is strong for me. And she is threatening me. I guess her adrenaline had kicked in too much.
I feel bad, but i love her.
Sleepless nights. Nightmares. No warmth in my arms again. Closing my eyes, and she is not closing in. Opening my eyes, she is far within.
What should i do?
How can i keep with this?
Conversations and smiles.
Then hell breaks loose. She sees my phone. A text message from another lady. She gets angry. She talks carelessly, then her tone rises.
She upsets me, because i upset her.
My mind is nuts, and my heart is on the floor.
She goes into her room. Our room. She stays there, i don’t follow her. Then i see her coming out with her bags. She wants to leave.
Now that’s bad. I didn’t see that coming.
I beg her. We fight where we were. I ask her to stop, but she says I’m not good for her.
Now who is going to save us!
Who is going to help me!
I kneel down. I beg.
She is quiet, she seems to listen. I go further, and make promises. Her breathing is slow. I can see she is trying to look at me.
I take her hand, and she doesn’t stop me. I plead and she forgives. We are now back together.
But deep down i know, tomorrow we will fight again.
How do we make it stop?
How do we stop fighting?