I quit trying to make things right for others. I quit carrying other people’s crosses with kindness, for the reward is me being left helpless and broken. I quit trying to do good for others, just because i want them to do the same towards me. I quit giving people second chances when all they do, is screwing me over and over.
I quit being the one to carry your drunk body home. I quit waiting late night just for you to come back home, and waiting in the day for your embrace. I quit waiting because it took you a whole light year to come back to me. It’s like I’m an ant in you presence, so small that you can’t notice.
I cant lie like this no more. Its not every time that i have to pick up the trash just because i cling to hope. Hoping that some people can be generous, kind and selfless in return. Just because i cant stop having the idea that you are good person. There is no point in trying, when the result is the same. So devastating that i cant seem to make things right for both us, when you are busy looking out for yourself.
Its cold when its lonely, but still i have to give in and go back to the old me.
Maybe I’m to blame. Maybe i have been trying hard so much that i failed to see where we were heading. Maybe i aimed for the moon, and the highest place you could take me, was the hills. But how could it be my entire fault? How is it that i carry the whole blame?
No! I tend to disagree. All i did was for us. I just wanted us to work, and have a life.
Still it wasn’t enough. I had to grind my teeth and walk with bare feet on thorny paths just to make us happy. Still it wasn’t enough!
I quit giving people room for their growth, when all they do is jeopardizing the connection that we share together.
I quit creating room for people, when all they do is suffocate me. I quit completely.
I quit when I’m trying hard and there is no sign of improvement, or a tiny courtesy of appreciation.
Sometimes people can be so monstrous that it becomes hard to hope for change or the best. So selfish and sadistic. That’s why i quit. I’m sick and tired of making things right, when there is nothing right about it. Just moments of pain and regrets.
There is no point in keeping the flame burning when it doesn’t keep you warm, but instead, it burns you.
I’m done fixing people, or trying to change them to be good, and hope for their commitment.