It All Starts With You- How You See Yourself


In this modern life of ours we are fond of defining ourselves with labels. I mean who we are and what we do can be confirmed with which box we have either let the world put us in, or the one we have put ourselves in.

Quoting the famous saying, “love is in the air,” meaning that men and women are either single or in a relationship. And if you are single you are either lonely and searching, or just lonely and satisfied. And if you are in a relationship you are either in a committed relationship, or casual or a toxic relationship.

Our behavioral attitude can also be either introversion or extroversion. And this locks most people in boxes that sometimes they sure want out, but they just can’t because they are overwhelmed with how people see them as a person. And so, they unwillingly live in that context that people define them with.

We have put these labels on ourselves that particularly define the type of person we are. And that has been enough to draw conclusions about us without questioning.

For this reason we always struggle to either fit in these labels, or prove that we actually don’t belong to those presumptions and that we are judged wrongly. And we are often subjected to tension and pressure. I mean people live with so much anxiety, fear and doubt and even hatred just because people have labeled them wrongly. Hence, so much of our time and energy is put into use in trying to mend what people think of us and how they see us, or we struggle to live up to that label.

It’s one hell of a world that we live in. And at all times we have to be cautious when we are out in the open world.

Most times we are forced to redefine ourselves, reestablish our dreams, and forsake our principles and morals just to boost how people see us and think of us. We are forced to do the things we value less, just to boost our reputation. Because we are consumed with the feeling of wanting to belong and for people to look up to us.

Trying hard to build how people see you is the most difficult thing you subject yourself to. You keep thinking that you set goals for your own interest, but they align with those of others so that they can see you as an aspirant towards greatness. And your sole aim is to win their hearts, and that means you walking in their paces, such that you totally miss out the raw parts in you that need fixing, or just a little push to work out well.

Why don’t you focus on how you see yourself as a person and who wants to really establish greatness in their life?

If you start settling for external approval, or remarks, or love and affection, and all this, just to boost what you feel inside about yourself, then you are likely to undergo depression, stress, and even develop jealousy and hatred to yourself and other people.

One thing that we always don’t quite seem to understand is that we don’t let someone into our lives to fill the emptiness within us; we let them because they light up our world and it becomes brighter than before. We don’t give in to people, we give in to the moments they help us bring to life.

Sometimes fighting to belong somewhere and for people to see you as who you think you are, isn’t appropriate. It sabotages yourself esteem. And you feel that if no one approves you, or is there to tell you that you are an amazing person, or confirm if you are making the right decision, then you are no one.


I stopped thinking about what people think of me. What’s the point anyway, of thinking about what others think? Because for sure it’s harmless, unless you think it’s not- while you let your perceptions, thus actions, be swept by the waves of their thoughts as they possess you.

Those thoughts of other people, that you think they have in their minds, dictate you if only you let them overtake what you think of yourself. The idea that someone thinks someway about you, and you let it fuel your every step, it’s just wrong. It’s just fear and doubt. And it’s pointless.

Thoughts as they are, are just random perceptions that each and everyone of us have. And they are easily biased depending on the kind of experiences someone has encountered as they grew up.

So, why wouldn’t I mind my own, and go ahead and overwhelm myself with those of others, that I think they concern me?
For sure I cannot know what other people think. Or ascertain that they mean what they say. Or wish me good with their thoughts.

Suffice it to say that I cannot see through their hearts or thoughts or words.
And that, the unknown, I’m comfortable with it. Because when you trouble yourself with the unknown for you to know- so that you can do something- then you will never know.
How about you just begin with what you know of yourself? And let it define your steps.

Self care means putting yourself first- and this includes your thoughts; what you think of yourself. Self care means considering your health and wealth. And for you to have good health you need to be grateful and be positive, so that you can build your character with hard work and invest your values and skills to acquiring wealth, peacefully.

So, I pay attention to my thoughts, words and emotions. I listen to myself; what I have to say and do and what I really desire.
People always talk. People will always judge. People will always hurt. People will always hate. And that’s them. Not me. That’s how they think with their brain, not mine. That’s what they see with their own eyes, not mine.
Unless I really want to keep failing even before I begun sailing my efforts towards what I want to achieve.

I see myself walking along the corridor which is brightly lit and fireworks burst in the sky in beautiful colors. I see my strength and weakness. I see my path and my dreams. I see potential. I see myself; whole and brimming with energy that is ready to be utilized for greatness. I see my dreams right before my eyes like stars in the clear sky- twinkling and calling out to me. I see my plans basking in the sun as they wait for me to clothe them, and I will. I see love in me, and I’m willing to share, because I care.

That’s what I see, and that’s what I think about. Not what other people think of me. And my experiences, what I have learned, informs the kind of person I am. Not what other people think of me. My values and my actions say about me enough. Not what other people think of me.








2 thoughts on “It All Starts With You- How You See Yourself

  1. It is so true. We often feel terrible if someone else doesn’t like a dress we are wearing or worry about our life goals based on people around us. While it’s good to aspire to fit in, because we are social animals after all, there should be a limit to the amount by which we are willing to bend our lives. The limit being our happiness. The moment it reduces, it indicates we are going in wrong direction. Great post as always.

    Liked by 1 person

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