We all want someone (or people) to treat us with respect, maturity and honesty. And when they do not do that, we become angry, we hate ourselves for choosing to associate with them, and we even retaliate.
But do they, really need to treat us right?
Well, it’s their choice, and if it’s like fire that burns whenever it touches us, then we should flee.
Because when it comes to friendship or relationship, compatibility and accountability is paramount.
And when one isn’t compatible with us, and they are not accountable for their behavior and attitudes towards us, we should let them be. We should cease associating with them.
No one is entitled to anyone, but there are things that we have to uphold when it comes to the people we are so close to; those who we choose to be with.
The choices we make, the words we say and the things we do; shouldn’t be exactly about them. But since it’s about what we both share, then we have to be considerate and be accountable for our actions and behaviors.
If you are upset just be honest.
If you think it’s demanding, feel free to ask for space. If you want out, just say it. If you want more, ask. Communicate.
Because when it comes relationships or friendships, you don’t invest on someone, you nurture them and minster to them. You share what you have. And no one said it was easy. It’s hard: there is lots of compromising, sacrificing, putting up with someone’s shit, and still be happy with them anyway.
There is no need to want someone or love them yet every time you spend together you just demand that they do something in the right way- which they don’t.
Be it friendship or a relationship, compatibility is essential.
If you love someone, or rather want them, compatibility is paramount. Because people have their dark, horrible side, and you have to choose whether you can handle it. Because loving someone is accepting what they are, not their potential likeness to ourselves- not loving their reflection of ourselves we find in them. And matters of the heart involve compromising just to make things work- either for both of you, or just for the person you love.
What we want sometimes costs us, and we have to put up with someone’s unaccountability, dishonesty, indifference, and annoying attitude.
But if it’s constantly killing us, then we ought to save ourselves. As selfish as it sounds, though it is the truth, we are each born for ourselves. And when we want someone, or love them, then that’s our choice- and not that they belong to us or we belong to them, but simply because we want them.
However, when we associate ourselves with someone, then we have to be accountable how we treat them. And when the people we associate with aren’t compatible with us, that is we always seem to clash with them because of their behavior and attitude, then letting go of them is what we have to do if at all we tried so hard to help them change yet they won’t listen.