It’s funny how when we are experiencing something real, we pull out because we already think it won’t last long.
And we think those people who seem so genuine to us are in that particular manner because they want something from us.
And once they’ve got it then they’ll just leave. So instead of waiting for everything to fall apart on our watch, we wave them off and go for those who just want fun.
These days we don’t want to experience something real because we are afraid that we will have to commit so much.
Because we literally think that being committed is ignoring your own interests while you put someone else’s first, and we conclude that it’s so messed up in some fashion.
So we just go with the fun, and when it’s over we look for another person to have fun with.
We have become like vampires; draining each others hearts, time and minds and we go to next the one, and the next one.
Most people are afraid to experience real feelings and expressing them because they are afraid how bad it will hurt when bad things happen, so they push people away when they start to feel something concrete.
Because we are somehow so negative and we can’t accept that we deserve serious love, or that someone can truly love us out of their own willing minds and hearts.
So we claim that to protect ourselves we have to stay casual, nothing serious, just keeping it cool for the fun.
I recently asked a friend of mine why she has more than one boyfriend, and how she manages all of them. For me it’s pretty hard cause one already takes so much of my energy.
She said that it’s playing safe because when the spark dies in one relationship you just focus on another.
She said she just stays present and enjoys the ride. And when the ride is over, it’s over, you just jump right into the next one.
It’s cheating, I know, but she claims it’s life: you have to play safe, you have to survive.
But that’s the thing: everyone wants to feel happy, and they don’t want to lose sight of it.
They realise that life is made up of fleeting moments, and they think the trick is to create yours and manage it for your own good.
It might seem that it helps us in some way, but it robs us the capability to love genuinely, and even when someone genuinely loves us, we won’t be able to realise it.
Because we are blinded by the fact that ‘it’s just a hook up’ and it will soon be over.
We think that people are only with us because of the excitement, the thrill, because we give that to them.
And when it’s all over because it now seems a normal thing, so there is no vibing out of the thrill and excitement, they just leave and go looking for it elsewhere.
So we don’t want to feel bad when people leave, so we go for the thrill and the excitement too. And when it’s over we also search for it elsewhere.
And the funny thing is that sometimes we blame people and the universe as to why there is no true love.
Take it from me, it’s there, it’s just that things like love, you first give in.
You might define the meaning of love, the type of love you want and how you want it, but unless you give in to it, sink in it’s depth while you embrace it fully, you’ll never rejoice in experiencing something concrete with someone.
To love is to give out, to share. But first you must give in to the idea that you must give out and share because that is what you believe to be the right and the best thing to ever do.
Real moments don’t just stumble on our feet.
Yes, we can have real feelings, but unless we hold them dear and use both our mind and body to express them, then we’ll always end up chasing after what we believe is deprived of us.
Yet it’s just us who carry these messed up thoughts convincing ourselves that no one can truly love us.
Everything needs work, you need to put in effort if at all you need it so bad.