You can’t fully and externally testify how a certain situation can break a person, or what kind of a person it can change them to, no matter how empathic you are.
Things like these you have to face them personally, you have to be in that particular situation and experience every little bit of its merciless cruelty.
Sometimes you think you know what others feel, but even the idea of sameness, of being human, sometimes it doesn’t apply, and everyone is left to face their messed up problems in their messed up ways.
I got a call yesterday’s morning about my cousin. He died. From what I heard, he just went to bed as usual, and yesterday’s morning they just found him dead. Something that’s really hard to process.
You see, nobody is prepared for this kind of loss. No one is prepared to just wake up and find that the one thing they were so used to see around and used it to define them is just gone…. and to be okay with it, that it’s life…hell no…
Of course we are told, or rather we convince ourselves that we understand that nothing is permanent; that it comes a time when some things have to end, and therefore we should focus on the beginning of a new chapter.
But the fact still remains that it’s difficult to be calm because we believe the ‘end’ is not the end, or that it’s supposed to usher in a new beginning.
So it’s hard not to feel immense pain and have many questions. You feel pain, you feel sad and angry and very much broken.
And as much as we want to fully heal, the void of what was once filled remains there forever.
It just stays within us as we continue to face the rest of our days.
Life as we know it, it surprises us everytime. It catches us off guard and brings us to our knees.
In all honesty, I don’t know what more to say, but it really hurts when you lose someone, especially when you believe that they don’t deserve it; that they are innocent and there is still a big part of their life they haven’t uncovered.
Sometimes things like this shows how vulnerable we are and how unpredictable life is.
Even so, we still have each other, at least the ones who are still alive.
And as much as it hurts, we find solace in the ones we have right by our side as we moan the ones we’ve lost.
We find hope in the ones we have, and we pray that it remains that way. Because the reality is that life is so unpredictable, well, most times. And the only thing that remains constant, at least for us who are still breathing, we still have to face it regardless….coz we are obliged to so.