Why Love isn’t ‘Love’

It’s not that I don’t believe in love. It’s just that the world has piled it up with so many things….things like infatuations, lust, fear, boredom, insecurities and selfishness.
And the real love gets lost completely.

I am not hopeless, I am just tired.
See, we keep burdening ourselves and subjecting ourselves to responsibilities that we claim are out of love.
Instead of treasuring what we have; and other’s willingness to genuinely care for us, we try to obsess over it as we become possessive. And all this we claim is love.

We claim that we love so deeply, and we have the right to love more, and expect pure love in return.

Most times, and for most people, this idea of love doesn’t give them peace of mind, because every time they are worried if that love is enough, or if the love they get in return is utterly genuine. Or they constantly wonder if who they are with in a relationship are not the ‘one’ .

I say this because the world has packaged love like a commodity, like an investment, and the tangibles from it are what people fight for.

Love is a choice, but also a feeling, and just like everything else, to experience true joy you must give freely. And the process should craft you.

You are not an extension of your lover. You are an individual, and they are with their lives. And this crap about forcing them to conform to everything about you, and that everything of their lives should revolve around you- because of ‘love’- isn’t healthy in any way.

We burden ourselves to mold our partners and craft them just for our pleasure, which in turn we think pleasures them too.
We administer control over their behaviour, and how they should treat us, and treat themselves. And it becomes ownership, instead of relationship- where each of us relates with our deepest parts.

I cannot tell you what love is, because each of us has an different understanding and experience of love.
I can only tell you what love isn’t.

Love isn’t ownership, or obsession, or possession; those are just manifestations of our own fear, insecurities, lustful and selfish desires, and they mimic love most of the times because we get carried away with the sensation that comes from those feelings.

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6 thoughts on “Why Love isn’t ‘Love’

  1. This is a very deep post and I wish I had gotten to it sooner. It’s very personal and speaks to lessons we all should learn. I’ve always been attracted to a quote from the movie: Don Juan DeMarco:

    “There are only four questions of value in life… What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.” Don Juan DeMarco

    When we seek to control love, we profane it. When we dictate what shape it must take, we damage not only the spirit of the person we try to shape in our image, but also our own. The last two, to my mind, speak to the selflessness of love freely given and received without conditions.

    Liked by 1 person

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