It’s not that I don’t have feelings and that I can’t love, no. I’m just not fond of proving it to someone so that they can love me. In fact, I don’t think love has to walk the same path as sex does, or reciprocation for that matter.
Love should just be given freely because it is a fulfillment in itself: to just love.
It’s not that I’m lonely, I just like being alone. I like listening to the silence and singing to myself. I just like focusing on one thing, on my art, and that happens when I’m lost in my own world.
I believe the greatest skill you can ever master is to converse in silence and yet not get sucked in it’s depression.
It’s not that I hate talking to people, I just like listening to understand, mostly. So I only talk to those who would do the same. Those that I understand because we are somehow alike in our own darkest ways.
It’s not that I think less of other people, I just focus on what I want for myself and I keep working on it silently. It doesn’t mean I’m selfish, I’m just careful with the time I have in this world, but if someone needs my help and asks for it, then I’ll give them a hand in any way I can.
It’s not that I have pride or that I believe in myself so much, in fact, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that if don’t take control of my life then no one would help me fulfill my dreams. I’m afraid that if I don’t take care of myself then no one would.
I’m afraid if I don’t create something out of myself, then I wouldn’t have something to live for.
So yeah, you can call me an introvert. Hell even say I’m a weirdo.
At the end of the day what matters is what I’ve accomplished for myself in building the kind of life that I want.
I feel love, I admire beauty, I have feelings, I wanna have fun, and most of all, I want to explore every bit of all these. But instead, I subdue that rage and process it as energy while I channel it to fuel my endeavours and aspirations.
Maybe you don’t get it, or maybe you think I don’t get it. Either way, my point is I don’t have to justify myself, I don’t have to ask you to let me be. I am who I am, that’s it.